What to do for a Partner Who has Trouble Ejaculating?

It is common knowledge that women can oftentimes struggle with orgasming, mainly because they aren’t receiving the stimulation they are used to receiving from themselves. This can be the same for men, although oftentimes it’s not as well known.

Keep in mind that we are not a medical site, and you should always speak to a doctor first if you are experiencing medical problems.

Stigma Around Ejaculation

If you or your partner struggle with ejaculation, know you’re not alone. The first step to understanding how to work with ejaculation struggles is accepting that it’s normal, and then researching your masturbation techniques alone or with your partner.

When looking for the causation of ejaculation issues, many men find that the problem isn’t with their partner or with their bodies, it’s just the sex techniques being used by either or both parties. Make sure that you’re paying attention when masturbating, so you know what techniques you’re using that pleasure you the most.

If you want to get to a deeper level, when masturbating be sure to pay special attention to what sex therapists call an “orgasm threshold”: at what range of sexual arousal and stimulation you can achieve an orgasm.

Orgasm thresholds are different for everyone, but they are mainly lower for men and higher for women; the stereotype surrounding men’s orgasm threshold is why men with a high orgasm threshold usually get stigma for not being able to ejaculate properly.

How can it be fixed?

If you’re a man looking for tips on how to encourage ejaculation, it is important to pay attention to your level of arousal. You should be focusing on your own arousal as well as your partners, and not penetrating your partner until you are fully aroused.

If you know that it takes you longer to ejaculate, make sure to get as close to the edge as you possibly can before penetration. This will make it so that your arousal level is higher going in, and you can ejaculate at what might seem to be a “normal” rate after penetration.

If you want to please your partner at every second of sex, it can be damaging to your own arousal. While it is great to make sure you are meeting your partner’s needs, you should be selfish if you have trouble ejaculating.

By focusing on your own arousal, you are making sure that you are ready and prepared for penetrative sex leading to ejaculation. While others see this as selfish, men with trouble ejaculating should know that your partner won’t notice the difference as long as you’re splitting your focus.

Focusing on her when it is time to focus on her, such as oral sex, kissing, touching and foreplay, is just one side of the story. The other side involves you taking time to enjoy your own pleasure. Watching while receiving oral sex, listening when being talked dirty to or being encouraged, and focusing on sensations being received are all great ideas for being more selfish in bed without losing the focus on your partner.

How to Get Deeper Penetration

If you are struggling to find ways to mix it up with your partner, maybe you and your partner would benefit from deeper penetration. This can give a great change in pace, and is as simple as trying out a few new positions!

Cowgirl

One of the best positions to get deeper penetration is forward-facing cowgirl. Have your partner lie on his back, and then straddle him and slowly ease his penis in so that you are reaching maximum penetration.

If you’re looking to go even deeper, try spreading your legs and pressing your hands onto his chest for support. You could also ask him to support your hips and raise his, allowing for G spot stimulation.

Missionary – But Better

Another great position for deep penetration is missionary. Hear me out- this is a little bit different than the missionary you might be used to, and women will need to be a little bit bendy in order for this to work.

Laying on your back, pull your knees up to your chest, or rest your calves on your partners back while he enters. If you can’t do this, try putting a pillow or wedge under your hips for G spot stimulation (and for deeper penetration!).

Kitchen Counter

If you’re feeling a little adventurous and want to get out of your comfort zone, try having sex on the kitchen counter! Sit with your legs over the edge, and then allow your partner to pull your hips towards them and enter you.

Keep your legs spread as wide as possible, so your partner can get really deep. Try propping yourself up on your elbows to see their penis disappearing inside of you while you’re receiving deep penetration.

Dirty Dancing

This position for to get deeper penetration will need core strength on the man’s part, or flexibility on the woman’s part.

First, start standing face to face. If possible, have him lift you up by the butt so that you are straddling him at the hip, and have him insert his penis for deep penetration. If he can’t lift you up, try lifting your leg above his shoulder or at peck-height, and from that point he can enter you for deep penetration.

There won’t be much mobility in this position, but both you and your partner will enjoy the deep sensation.

The Caboose

This position is one that most people don’t end up trying in their lifetime, but it can be really great for deep penetrative sex!

Have your partner sit with his back straight and his legs spread apart so that you can fit in between. You will sit directly on him, and use his thighs for support.

It’s reverse cowgirl, but your back is against his chest so that his penis is in a different position. The Caboose is great for G spot stimulation, so give it a shot!

There are so many different ways that both you and your partner can enjoy deeper penetration while having sex, but the easiest and quickest way is to try a new position, and go from there.

What is the Coital Alignment Technique?

Roughly two thirds of women cannot orgasm for vaginal stimulation alone. Coital alignment can fix that, and can make sex more enjoyable for both parties.

Coital alignment is a set of sex techniques that make sex more stimulating for women. Men tend to be positioned on top, with their pelvis rubbing against the woman’s pelvis, allowing for clitoral stimulation.

So How do You do it?

To get the ultimate coital alignment, the woman should put a pillow or wedge underneath her hips and lower back so that the pelvis area is more accessible. At this point, climb on top of her in missionary position and gently slide your penis inside her.

After your penis is as deep as it can be, shift yourself up so that your pelvises are directly parallel each other. Your chest should be at her shoulders, rather than face to face, which allows for your penis shaft to grind against her clitoris and her vulva, which is pleasurable for her.

Lower your body down onto hers, and rest on your elbows so you aren’t putting all your weight on her, but instead are putting pressure on her pelvis. You won’t have great movement abilities in this position, but you’ll know it’s working when she starts holding on tighter and pulling you closer.

If you want to take coital alignment to the next level, try grinding against her. Visualize her clitoris underneath your pelvis and put pressure in that area. Resist the temptation to move in and out, and instead allow your penis to rest inside her.

Taking it to the Next Level

If you want to take your coital alignment to the next level, try investing in a sex pillow instead of using a regular sleeping pillow. This is specifically angled at 45 degrees for optimal G Spot and clitoral stimulation.

You can also play with sensations in the erogenous zones, which include the ears, scalp, and inner arm. Running your fingers or kissing along these areas can increase sensual stimulation, which leads to a more intense orgasm for your partner.

If you want to try a different version of coital alignment, go for a new position! Coital alignment is all about clitoral stimulation, so it can be applied to any position in which the clitoris is accessible to either partner, or easy to grind on.

A few fan favorites include: reverse cowgirl, reclining chiller, and sitting on a pillow top. These positions are all great to try out with coital alignment, because they are easy to do while still being exciting for both partners.

Conclusion

If you’re looking for a new way to increase pleasure for your female partner, look no further. The coital alignment technique makes it easy to pleasure her, and is an exciting new technique that isn’t known by all. So what are you waiting for? Go try it now!